“What you ride / drive reveals your personality; how responsibly
and considerately you ride / drive reveals your character. Our drive for
success must encompass both character and personality.”
-Chris M Jayachandran
How to win without defeating others?
Is it even possible to draw a win in situations that almost
bog us down completely, that too without defeating the other person? Such
situations may stem from personal and professional aspects of our lives.
I guess I won without defeating a gentleman, a couple of days
ago.
After getting some veggies, carrying them in a shoppers’ bag,
I wanted to hang the bag on the hook meant on my vintage Royal Enfield Diesel
Bullet; I was rather annoyed to see a Honda Scooter parked in a such a way that
there was not even 50% of space needed for anyone to retrieve the Bull, from the
left side. On the right side, there was water-logging, due to rain a little
earlier.
It was easy for me to approach a gentleman, to confirm
whether that Honda scooter belonged to him as there was no other customer
visiting that Veggies Supermarket. He asserted. I politely asked him to move
his scooter saying there was no room for me to retrieve my Bull out from the
left side. He followed me to the entrance of the Veggies Supermarket, and
insisted that he had given the needed space for me to easily get my Bull out. I
did not get irritated. I said to him “Is it? Could you please get my vehicle
out without moving your scooter?”
He nodded as though it was quite easy. He approached my Bull
from the right side, after failing to find space to get it out of center-stand
from the left side. It should have occurred to him that he was not correct in
his estimation, at that time. He never seemed to accept it. He, later, was struggling
to get my Bull out of the center-stand from the right side (well that machine’s
kerb weight is around 196 kg without considering 80% full fuel tank and around
10 kg of Veggies’ laden weight. Realizing that my Bull would fall, and all
veggies will freely be mashed up into veggies-paste, I buttressed my Bull. He
was neither accepting that he was at fault nor letting the Bull’s weight shower
him the prudence that I was correct originally. He was on a spree to take
control of my mood and behavior. Well, I never wanted to give him that
control. So, I was on my usual ‘gear’, not getting hiked up. He said under such
situations one should start the engine and move the vehicle out of water-logged
patch on the street, from the right side. He asked for my Bull’s key to start
it. I told him, he could not start. He persisted. So, I gave him the Key, which
was not needed. After painfully kicking it for several times, he looked
miserable. Miserable to have realized that he parked his scooter without space
on the left side, and he himself could not even push the Bull. I retrieved my
Bull within the next few moments, gave it one gentle kick and thumped out form
there. But before thumping my Bull out of there, I never sounded that I
triumphed over him; but politely thanked him.
I kept my voice low but argument hard during this whole
episode, knowing that few individuals in personal life and professional life
would test our level of civilization. We do not have to become mad; nor do we
need to be sad because of such individuals. All we will have to do is to get
through them. We can win over them without necessarily making them lose; by
simply cutting them loose from our focus, and never giving that energy / attention
that they crave for.
Can you share if you have won without defeating your
adversaries? It will be enlightening for others.
