Engulfing Love Vs. Empathy

"In any relationship, all transcending Empathy with even negligible Love is far better than Engulfing Love with no Empathy".
                           - CHRIS M JAYACHANDRAN  

Embrace Life, this New Year 2018

Let's just not make Merry but a Meaning, this Christmas

Growth and Glory

 "All growth and glory are there just outside one's comfort-zones"

                                     -  Chris M Jayachandran 

Tap out Vs Knock out

"Be not the person that taps out but be the one that knocks out; in all noble social, psychological, and spiritual combats."

                                                                  - Chris M Jayachandran

Hurdles.. or Avenues for Growth??

In my limited experience as a Coach of Professional and Personal Success for individuals, young men and women; I have always upheld this thought: Hurdles are avenues for growth and excellence.

Authentic Creativity, Divergent thinking, and Communication Skills are some of the soft-assets ‘wannables’ are expected to sport. However, if someone possesses the first two of the soft-assets listed above; he / she seldom gets the right springboard due the lack of the third soft-asset – Communication Skills.

Youngsters across the different age-group always take solace by pacifying themselves thinking that they have had their formal school education not from a convent or in a posh school.

Should one settle down for mediocrity in his / her life by banking on these self-doubting thoughts? I would say never!

Having pursued my Primary and Secondary Education in Tamil (Vernacular Language) Medium; not only have I won several awards for Tamil Debates / Oratory / Poem / Creative writing; but also in English Public Speaking / Creative and Scientific Writing, and Extempore.

These are something that I could achieve in competitions / events.

•     Silver Medalist in Regional-Level Research Paper Presentation
•     Second Place in National-Level Extempore,
•     Thirukkural Selvan Award by World Thirukkural Consortium,
•     District-level Second Place in Oratory,
•     Many prizes in Poem and Creative Writing at the School / College / Catholic Vicariate levels; and Publication in several Youth / Spiritual Magazines.
•     National-level Best Research Paper Award
•     Have published several research papers in International Journals and have so far made more than 20 presentations in colleges / universities across South India in the capacities of Research Scholar / Resource Person, Invited Speaker on various domains

Now what I consider to be the pinnacle:

I am glad to have my brief article / contribution published by the World’s top-rated Business Management Magazine – a subsidiary of Harvard University. Harvard Business Review Magazine gets translated in more than 11 languages. 

Excerpt from March 2016 Publication: 

Don’t you agree that anyone can transmute the hurdles into avenues of growth and excellence??

Opportunity, do we really see it?

“It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than                                                     to have an opportunity and not be prepared.”

                                                                               - Whitney M. Young, Jr.

Yesterday, I spoke to a veteran in Automobile Industry, in Detroit, Michigan. Initially a few seconds pitch, if the person is interested, then the conversation is scaled up to few mins. Very rarely one might receive an opportunity to engage a person / people on the Phone, for close to 20 mins, when the other person might have budgeted only a few mins max, during what is technically called as "Elevator Pitch".

In whatever professional role I have been discharging, I have never (yes never) missed an opportunity to foresee the futuristic opportunities, despite insurmountable obstacles. Only with that approach, I envisioned to earn my Masters degree in Computer Tech / Applications with only a sum of Rs.50 INR left in my hand (much less than $1 )during 2000-2001 Academic Year. Similarly, my Black Belt Six Sigma Programme with absolutely no idea of how I would bear close to Rs.50,000 in fees. I guess my journey must be an interesting read for all others. But such incidents are reserved to be shared later.

Guess what?? I do not believe in being accepted by others as a Great-Guy; but I believe in leading a life that is in accordance with  my God-given potentials.




Source: Social Media, unknown original editor's efforts are being appreciated for this image-extract


Cutting to the chase, go get ready, and grab all opportunities. Oops, I almost forgot to tell you that all opportunities will be disguised in the form of challenges, controversies, adversities. I will prove so, in my upcoming blog posts. Happy Reading!!!

Growing older Vs. Growing wiser

Have I grown older or Have I grown wiser? I just don't know; I am still in dilemma. Some of the devastating experiences or plainly putting across - harassment / ridiculing by others that I had to endure were merely caused by lack of growth in me - Growth that makes one sharply strike back / give a deadly-sting  to people who let their cruelty and self-glorifying attitude unfold. For some spiritual reasons I have been curbing my impulse to treat such people in a manner they deserve. Had I been patient letting the 'Karma' play its role? Nope!

Those who know me would endorse that I am resilient as well. In the mid 30s now, did I actually grow wiser to be patient while getting along with people and occurrences , the answer again, had been 'Nope'; at least until 2nd Week of June 2015.

I happened to attend a Prayer Meeting during the 2nd week of June 2015(honestly, had been given the liberty, I surely would have given it a miss; as my way of Worshiping is debatable. I guess it is the 'Serving Hands' that are needed among the most deserving and needy people than the 'Praying Lips'). There was one good thing I learned during that Prayer Meeting - How to be patient and how long should one be patient?

Since that Prayer Meeting, I could comfortably be patient in almost all situations. You may as well,  learn to  grow wiser and by being patient from the following visual.

Taking sides, without taking time to know the ‘significant facts’?

Taking sides, without taking time to know the ‘significant facts’? At times, one is so driven by ulterior motives, and similar consideration for oneself in the future; that he / she takes sides with the group whose members are exclusively from one's own caste, religion, language, and ethnic background. Mark Twain has a message:

Image Courtesy: http://mayojobi.com/

Will I resurrect and ascend?

I am dead (or more appropriately, did I actually get crucified?) Will I resurrect and ascend?

I do not know the answer, excepting to dwell back and recall the verses in the Scriptures that I have intently read while I was a kid.

Have you ever wanted to go the extra mile in being ‘extraordinary’ to any ‘ordinary’ or rather people who are pretentious and do not deserve your time / energy / attention? My advice to you, never even think about it. Just cut them loose and go on your path.

 If only I had been such a person for the past 10 years or so, I guess I might have been a different person (definitely not filthy and only money hooked-up guy).

Enjoying certain degree of Social / Intellectual status, I know I cannot blog with abstract ideas and that I need to be very precise embracing actuals (preferably with empirical data). This time, I just want to share my deepest feelings, with others who are out there, giving my thoughts a dime.

  

Do not aim to be Godly towards certain people / structure, because they may be having all perennial problems rotten for several decades / centuries. Just be a normal guy, do your duty well and just walk off.

Especially with certain people, they might be the most venomous creatures who will strike you, after sucking every bit of what they can drain out from you, engulfed with self-centeredness.

Past several months have been a great discerning period for me, helping me realize what mostly people are made up of. However, I am unshaken with what makes me who I am.

All I now want to do is to offset my lack of multi-faceted growth that resulted of ‘opportunity cost’ effect.

I know I will end up meeting the same people in my walk of life again. But, I will not be as Godly / naïve or ignorant as I used to be. After all, ‘a mistake is only a mistake if I repeat it’.

I will be very careful as to which sort of people / situations that would demand me to bet my life, reputation, and aspirations henceforth.

I know I am dead (or more appropriately, did I actually get crucified?) Will I resurrect and ascend?

I will reverberate my thoughts continuing on this blog, on resurrecting and ascending (Why won’t I J ?)

THE MAN WHO MOVED A MOUNTAIN...

https://milaap.org/campaigns/mountain-man

Gullible Gestures… Great Returns…

Should I?.. Is this something to be shared at all?... Why not (as at least a few hundred read your posts)? These were some of the questions that kept lingering since 25^th January (just a couple days ago). But I rescinded the idea to web my thoughts initially. You might well ask me “No quandary now, to pen your thoughts?”  Honestly neither I am Ms. Rhonda Byrne, nor what I am about to share is ‘The Secret’.

On 25^th January in the forenoon, I stepped inside ‘Selvam’ Departmental Stores at Poonamallee. (Oh, please do not ask me why I ended up there!), wanting to chip in a selected merchandise. Surf Excel Top Load was one among them.

Up I went there, at the specific spot and I had to keep looking up. Because, all the 1kg packs (for a one-person- use, buying more than 1kg does not go fit with ‘Lean Management Principles’ that I terribly failed making my Mom understand (while being a phenomenal success with others) were kept on top of each of others. To get one pack and conquer in my shopping-mission, either I had to scale up to 6.5 meters height or seek support.

I did ask for support by looking at the young women at the counter. But I made sure that I did not issue an imperative statement rather, to politely ask. I made sure that I should let my request be common instead of pointing out one particular person. One person, volunteered quickly. I guess I was polite in asking her as though it would be a favor done to me. I said thank you and gave her ample of room to get the job done.

She swiftly drew a four-legged Stool made of plastic / nylon fibers (I wish it was of nylon fiber) and scaled up the heights to get me one box. While she did all what she had to do, I was very ‘watchfully’ observing her ascent to the height from the Stool and her descent. Had Ajay (my only nephew who is about to get into a UG course – for him ‘His uncle is a Hero’; naive boy to think of me so) been there, he must have immediately reached to a conclusion that I was about to formulate a theory and suggest her precautionary info-bits.

As I was a complete stranger and that person there being a female, I wanted to go mild. I looked at her with compassion and said to her with my hands pointing out the locations on the four-legged Stool, “The next time, you use this Stool, please make sure that you keep your legs here, and here. In this way you distribute your body weight equally on the legs which then later distributed over a larger surface area on the ground. This will make sure that the Stool does not break and you do not fall due to imbalance”.

After slowly moving around both my hands around areas in vulnerable points of the Stool (not only on that Stool, but practically on any Stool), not thinking about laying my hands on areas where she had kept her feet a few seconds ago, I did want to make sure that she does not fall. I knew I wanted her to be safe, and nothing else.

You must have seen her face, emanating different kinds of energy altogether. She said a ‘profuse-thank you’. I never wanted to make her feel that I felt something special about her (had there been a comparatively older lady, I could have been more compassionate), I nodded my head acknowledging her in a gentle way, by whispering ‘No Problem’.

After all these, I could find a vibrant young woman who was married, observing all what I had done and watching me carefully. I moved to the next counter where I wanted to get two packs of my Mom’s favorite ‘pain palm’ so that I could give them when I would meet her next.  When I said that particular brand pain-balm, the young lady at this counter was not sure. As I have several habits (my Dad and my God Father - Rev.Fr. Maria Lawrence SDB are the two guys responsible for such habits) that are way beyond explanation let alone justifying them; I first glanced through the availability of what I wanted so that I could pin it down exactly. I helped that young lady to locate them.

The lady at this counter looked at me differently.( 1 Kg box of Surf Excel, Maggie Pasta packs – 2, Maggie Oats 3 – Maggie Chicken 2 packs (newly introduced and I wanted to try whether it is any good.) Well, the topping that my Surf Excel box had was very tall as I wanted to get those without putting them in a basket. ) I thought like, ‘oh lady… this is not something I do not know already. I know I do not have room to accommodate nor could I just get those two packs of pain balm by stretching out either of my hands’.

I told her after she took it from the shelf, ‘yeah thanks, please keep them here, I will swing back to get those two, after leaving one of the tallest ‘merchandise’ burger held in my hand, at the billing counter.  I could see that the vibrant young married lady had to buy some cosmetics and hence was there after some moments I reached this particular counter.

What happened next made me think very nobly of this vibrant young married lady, with so much of appreciation for me in her eyes. As I walked with my ‘merchandise’ burger towards the billing counter almost 15 feet farther away, she collected the two packs of pain balm and literally followed me. When I turned around to get back to the counter to pick my pain balm packs, I was surprised to find her at my back extending those two packs ‘Your two packs of pain balm’.

Now, I had say to a ‘profuse thank you‘. I meant it. If there was anything / anyone great here: I would say that the vibrant young married lady is great and her gullible gesture of helping me is great ( I do not know whether I actually deserve that help).

Here are the key takeaways:

Though married women tend to become very reserved with the opposite sex unless there are too old to be her grand-father(s), this person could consider me ‘fit’ / deserving her help.

Why? Maybe she too thought of what Ajay and my guys (my Dad, Mom, and my elder sisters) think about of me! Well my guys could be wrong!

Let me cut to the chase and present you the conclusion:

Gullible Gestures, the one I had for the young woman at the sales counter was very straight and not crooked, in any way; and the one I had from that fine young married lady was of appreciation /consideration and or of kindness.

We all get back what we give to others. I felt like sharing this is one incident. There are countless others where I was blessed enough to receive consideration / kindness from others, early in my life. And, now I make sure that give back to many without expecting anything in return, at least in equal proportion of my receipt earlier.

Guess what? If you know the manager / owner of this particular Departmental store (these guys have a chain of departmental stores), you could possibly, watch this entire episode recorded in the surveillance cameras installed at several places inside the departmental store.

If there is even a bit of room to show such gullible gesture to any other fellow creature, just go on…

I will boomerang back to you, later…

Best,

Chris

Happy ‘Deepavali’!

"Darkness is dispelled eternally by Light
 Greatness is harnessed evidently by Insight
 Slavery in society is a form of Injustice
 Bravery to deform bondages is the norm of Prudence
 Inquisitiveness brings in Prowess
 Industriousness bestows in Success"

 May this ‘Deepavali’, the festival of Light, bless you all with Insight,
 Prudence, Prowess, and Success limitlessly.

 Happy ‘Deepavali’

I did not see that one coming....

It is not longtime since I insisted some of the student-friends in a class that they should exercise adequate care while commuting, especially while walking, riding bike or driving a car.

Out of all that I learnt from my father  and what my father had taught me, I shared a few on that day.  One such input from my father was, ‘sense the world around you, always’.

With ‘sense the world around you, always’ bug having caught me in a very tenderly age, I annoyed someone with that bug several years ago.

It was the proprietor and trainer at SMB Driving school, Perambur, Chennai. He took me few classes for Car Driving. He persisted that I unnecessarily keep looking at the rear-view mirror and side-view mirrors. I had my rationale (which I did not tell him) that when I do not need my eyes casting their vision at the front (owing to various factors on the road), my eyes will be casting their vision and taking clue from either sides  and at the rear-end of the car / jeep whatever I might drive and whichever terrain I will be driving in.

I guess, this bug has kept me alive on several occasions as I usually travel at least around 40KMs in National High Ways every single day (almost).

Having said all these,  a CT Scan was done to me at 2.30 AM on Sunday (21/09/14), with me getting admitted at the Causality  Male ward No 201, at the Rajiv Gandhi Government General Hospital (GH) – Central , Chennai. I was, kind of, not with very serious injuries.

Earlier, two skull x-rays and two x-rays on my right leg, were taken with the first-aid being given for the ‘not-so-deep’ Head injury , severe  abrasion from within my lower lip, large blog clot in the right thigh area;  at Kilpauk Medical College Hospital Chennai around 1.30 AM on 21/09/14, with the physicians wanting me to go the GH at Chennai -Central for the CT scan. A formal police inquiry medical report was registered about the road-accident (AR No. 471350 / OP No. 32295) at the KMC Hospital. After a few days since the accident, I could now recover well ( Maybe, I had to recover well to get ahead with things).

 I could remember asking the Hotel staff to keep my food packed before I would sip-in a cup of tea. After saying these few words, around 8:15 PM on 20/09/14, I do not even remember to have taken the first-step outside the hotel premises.  An under-age (he does even have the valid license) guy , working  in his father’s  Bike Garage at Senneer Kuppam, Poonamallee-Avadi Road, rammed me on my right-thigh, with his bike.

Honestly,   I did not see that one coming.... I am sure the tradecraft I received from my father has never failed me. I know how to ‘sense the world around me’. It could possibly because, I thought I was still in the hotel premises. But this guy coming from behind the hotel on the wrong-road (unfortunately it is Chennai –Bangalore National Highways), by holding almost 4 x 1 Feet size spare-part package, by balancing it between the handle-bars and headlamp console, without tying it.

I remember that I was given a pat on my chin a few times, when I was getting to consciousness, the Physician (besides his father who was the senior physician) at Dr. Mani’s Clinic at Poonamallee kept asking my name and where I came from. Blood kept rushing out from injuries on the rear-side of the head and from torn lower lip, with my right leg almost becoming immovable, I tried to recollect what had happened.

Later, I learnt from the physician that I had an absolute blackout for around 30 minutes and that I was thrown on the road when that under-age bike wala rammed on my right-thigh without the ability to apply the brakes; nor to navigate the bike away from me, in an angle where no human being could have possibly seem him coming.

Luckily, the injuries were not very severe, though the residual pains are.. sort of manageable.

That incident terrorized my Mom and Sisters. But that accident taught me a lesson.

A lesson to make sure that I have all my Insurance-stuff updated (I am usually good to go, with all types of Insurances). There was altogether another trance that I got into.

If I were to die on 21/09/14, my Mom and Sisters (Eldest one’s kids) might have well used my Insurances’ benefits. But how about the other stuff, which I could donate to someone else in need, someone who is poor, someone whose family badly want him / her to go to work for which he / she needs vision or other vital organs.

Around 3:00 AM on 22/09/14, I realized the nobility in donating one’s organs.

Like many who would reason out, I will be registering for Organs Donation (not just eyes, whatever could be removed from body) within the next 72 hours.

I want to live forever.. (at least reasonably longer through my deeds)..

Will you consider?

Thanks,

Chris

For every....

Dedicated to the Student Community:

For every aspect of entropy, there is an outcome of estuation;

For every mazed up path, there is a magnificent outward-direction;

For every baffling bottleneck, there is a brightest solution;

For every rugged botheration, there is a revealing and healing remedy;

For every testing situation, there is a triumphing moment;

For every twilight, there is a dawn with rays of hope;

For every lost chance, there is level-playing opportunity in the immediate future;

For every closure, there is colossal beginning.

May the beginning new Academic year 2014-2015 be splendidly successful for you all.

We reap what we have sown...

Hello there,

The Law of Harvest.  It is very basic; yet so powerful. The Law of Harvest has ever been immutable since Human prehistory began in the Paleolithic Era, around 7000 BCE.

I wish you a very Happy Festival of Harvest (Pongal). May you and all your members of the family always harvest best health, peace, joy, and successes perpetually.

New Year Greetings

Hello there,

May this sprouting out New Year 2014 shower on you and all the members of your family with stupendous successes, sweet memories, significant achievements, serenity-filled peace; by making you and all the members of the family sparklingly smiling throughout and forever.

Happy New Year 2014!

Cordially,

Chris M. Jayachandran

Happy Thanks-giving!!

"What does not kill you makes you stronger"

                                                      - Friedrich Nietzsche

Today (11/28/13) is being observed as a day for Thanks-giving, especially in the US.

Happy Thanks-giving!

Why should I not thank a few who have played an indispensable role in my life; who have given me  fitting opportunities to grow (like those gentlemen whose name I have listed towards the end);  have profoundly impacted and propelled me towards peak performance.

Thanking my parents could be “overkill” in this context; but yet I am bound to thank them for letting me grow the way I wanted. No questions asked, nothing needed to be validated, nothing forced me to be accountable, absolute Freedom, with absolute trust, pampering love: these are what I grew up with. How blessed am I to have my wonderful parents who have paid the price for what the society gives to me these days.

 1.       My Pa and Ma

Pa, though I strongly feel the current very frequently that you are still with me; I feel that you are enabling success, reputation, admiration, growth, and recognition glide towards me through how you have trained / sculpted me. The mental, physical exercises you subjected me to, in my very tender age, anecdotes, incidents, events, situational analysis, your war experiences, the problems you faced in your platoon, mock-drills that you put me on,  the tradecraft you put me through, the encouragement you would give me, when I would say that I need to enroll on Karate School, the love you would show by travelling all the way for about 25 KMs on all possible days from our home to the Karate School escorting me (oh yes, you had been so protective of all in our family; and especially of me. I still feel your watch-over me for my safety in all the places we spent time together). There are no measures to weigh the trust, leadership role you gave me to play out in our family. You gave me the throne in our family to make final decisions and you bound by it with absolute trust in what you were making your own son of. 

Pa, I recall the event with my eyes brimmed with tears when we both burst into tears on getting my direct question to you when I was 29 years old, “Is this the amount of love you give to me Pa? Do you have any idea of how much I love you?” You cried and reaffirmed the fact yet again that I had been the center of your life.

Though I am 32 now, and it is almost 2 years - not of your death but of me not listening to your spoken words; always “few words” with hidden wisdom. I just cannot go on. Life seems to be NULL without you. I would account to you only bits and pieces of the insurmountable hurdles I might have faced on any endeavor and how I emerged to be a winner. During such love-filled talks, I have seen your face getting permeated in glory and you would say “like father, like son”. Maybe during those years, I did not want you to feel egotistic filled with self-pride that you have got a one-of-kind-of-son.

But today, though I feel like sharing every aspect of each things that I do (which people end up concluding as colossal and humanly not possible ) in vivid description; but you are not with me. I could not talk to you. I could only pulsate my emotions towards you. Only I know what it takes me to forget the pains of having lost the most cherished person (you) in my life but still had to get on with what life has in store for me. Oh well, I have the one who bore me in her womb, whom you loved so intensely. I am trying to give all that no son would ever have given to his mom, anywhere in this Universe, Period. I know Ma gets exuberantly proud to have her son getting complimented in her native place, or wherever she goes. 

I know how to make her feel proud to have borne me and fed me. I am just onto it. Maybe this one reason, besides the reasons to yield returns to the investments made onto to me, by my Guru, I still want to carry my body. Else, I prefer feeling alive with you after throwing my body down. You gotta to wait. Every time, I visit the place where I made rest finally, I feel that I have less time to do a lot so that I would comfortably reunify myself with you. 

Ma, though you do not know to read English, you read my thoughts correctly, always. If I ever have made an impact on the people around me, it is coz I learnt what unconditional love is, from you. Only from you, Ma.

People have gone crazy with just the way I treat, teach, train, and transform them. Individually one might have wondered, as to how I could exercise so much of “power” over their mind, behavior and overall personality of others. You gave me the recipe to actualize such, right from my tender age. Until I am alive, I will continue to treat you as my baby and offset the imbalance that arose due to my independent living for more than a decade now. Besides, if Pa were alive, he also would want me to love you the way he loves me.

Ma, very recently I resolved to myself that whatever growth that I need to attain, I will get on there and make you witness it. I will glance through the glory and self-esteem emanating from your face that Pa used to reveal; by delving on the thoughts that you have gifted this world by bringing forth your only son (who also is regarded as the only male heir of an aristocratic generation in the native place, of around 50 members, with the seniors either being wealthy and benefactors or have had the pride of serving in the Armed Forces right from the Indo-British Army era).

Pa and Ma, I thank you both for the “distinct” genes both you made me inherit; that evolve in me for almost 32 Years now. I promise you both not that I will make greater fortune, amass wealth and die being very rich.  That might or might not happen (oh well, you both never taught me that these are more important in life. Neither did I pick up those on my own, from this beautiful world filled with many materialists and opportunists). Instead, I promise you both that I will continue to touch human beings and would be the cause for their growth, empowerment, and get them out of all their bondages (both self-made and systems-made).

2.      Fr. Maria Lawrence SDB.

Father, you ended up to be both my Pa and Ma during the stage in my teen life when I had most likely put up a wall distancing my Parents.

I know you are at Rome now pursuing your PhD ( Your society knows well that you are the best man for most of the missions. As such, you ended up to be their choice to go Rome and pursue a PhD).

For close to 5 years, I have shut myself and did not show up to you. Do you actually know the reason? I was not productive. I might have been successful. But I had not been productive in commensuration with the investments you have made in me. Though the financial investments through aids and through a Job Offer at Bosco InfoTech Pvt Ltd; were limited, the emotional and spiritual investments that you had been making are at least in par with what a mother gives to the embryo in her womb, what she would give to the child until the child has grown well.

Doubtlessly I am a Salesians’ Product. Salesians’ ideologies are running deep inside me, in conjunction with Jesuits’ ideologies (as I have been with them for at least 15 years now). Father, my parents created me. Maybe they brought me up well too. But right from my 17 Years of age, you had been my Guru (and the only Guru, till date. I could not look up to anybody else as my Guru, other than you. Maybe, I have admired many qualities in them.)

Father, where has not been your contribution in my life?

Everywhere. Just in all aspects of my personality. If people still find me ‘distinctly different, strikingly sophisticated, and vehemently versatile’ it is only because of my parents, and you.

Maybe, I just was a talented lad when you first came into my life as the Catechism coordinator in the parish.

When I gave you back Rs.800 the exam fee amount that I got from you, in 1999,  the amount which I did not have to pay immediately (as I started to be on my own not depending on my parents and not begging for money from others), you did not succumb to my compulsion. I remember you saying “I gave that out of my Pocket-expenses that I get from the congregation. Similarly, when you grow-up sacrifice yours and help others”. Father, I still sacrifice my pleasures and help the ones that most deserve my help.

I do not know whether you remember. I do. Almost all that you have said. Those teachings, trainings have gotten into my DNA. After finishing our discussion with the MD of Sri Sai Sathya Info Tech Pvt. Ltd, in 2001, I had to give you a drop in my bike, back to the office.

On that particular day, I stopped a few feet farther away from the stop-line in the Greams Road Signal. You gently asked, “Why are you going beyond the stop-line? Know to play the game by the books”.

Father ever since, 99.9999%, I stop all my vehicles (whether bike or car) well within the stop-line. Coz, I would hear your voice and would not refute your directions.

I remember you teaching me how to use cutleries and how to dine amidst the elite. It was in the provincial house and the time was early morning. Like my parents, you reaffirmed that I am someone a class apart from others. Had I been such a guy? I do not know. But you treated me as your own son. You taught me all I could grow with.

I learnt to ride the bike from you (do you remember your 32 mins ride from Poonamallee Seminary to our Parish, covering 25 KMs distance; back in 2000.)  You used to teach me the details of best biking upon my pestering (especially after I had bruises with one stupid friend who almost got me killed in a two-wheeler accident in 2000).

Father, you know what? Those skills have flamboyantly grown in me. I wish you see how I used to ride my ‘stepped up’ Bike and the 1.8 Liter ‘diesel-drinking beast staying unbelievably stoic even when sustaining at 130 KMPH and covering a distance of 175 KMs within 2 hours ’. You would approve what people think of, and say.

You were the one first getting a DOS screen up for me to get the hang of what computers are. You laughed with me on seeing me type crap, on the display. Later, you taught me some MS DOS commands. From that seed, I have grown to steal the show in International / National Conferences on Advances and Research trends in Computer Science and Applications. Kudos to you, for transforming me.

When you were ordained, someone gifted you with a very costly T-Shirt, with many gifts also being clothing items.  You gave that costly T-Shirt to me, saying that it would suit my styling and skin-tone. You were never for false-pride. I remember you always preferring causal slippers (but you would look cool when you dress up formally for business meetings). I learnt austerity (in areas where it is needed) too, from you.

After Grade 12, you roped me in as just Sunday Catechism School Volunteer. Within few years, you took pride in me growing to be one of the core-animators of the Sunday Catechism School Program. You taught me the qualities that even the most grown up would respect me for. I remember my Grade 8 teacher, Mr. Antonius would introduce me to everyone around him on Sundays in our church declaring that I was his student and how he saw me grow up. All such recognition, reverence from parishners I got because of you.

You made me a Marketing and Production Executive and later wanted me to soil my hands with Software Development, Quality Assurance, Delivery and Account Management, and literally every operation. Father, today I play a different game at different arena. I still remember the thought-provking discussion we had on “Matrix Management of Transnational Business”. I could learn Biz Development Plan Formulation for service providers in various industries, Negotiations, Conflict Management, Hiring Resources, Motivating them, Reward, Retain them, Business Proposal Writing, Tech-Documentation even on the areas that are nascent and catching up like Mobility, Middleware etc., from you when I was just 20. Today I am game for all, when it comes to business ventures. It is very instrumentally because of you.

The best way I would thank you is through leading a life that makes a difference in others’ lives, without expecting anything in return; as you had touched my life.

I hope to meet up with you soon. Not just for some talks… I have something on the cards. Remember the investments you have made. It is fitting on my part to yield the returns to the society. I am almost there, I will cling on to your hands once again, like the same young teenager and would want to do something meaningful to the neediest. I hope your hands could accommodate me…

Thank you Father.

3.       Mr. Joseph Irudhayaraj

Anna, I got hit several times when I had lost my resources (time, money, reputation, intellectual capacities, growth opportunities) by reaching out to the wrong-ones.

Who cares? It was you who taught me the spiritual value of making someone smile even if it means a loss.

One phone call with a compelling request for arranging some cash to pay for my BBA course fee (which I discontinued by losing Rs.6000/ and cleverly reclaimed my B.Com forfeited admission through merit at Loyola). I called you up and made a request by assuring the repayment of the amount Rs.3000 within one week’s time; You were at a different office then. You asked your friend and instructed him to handover Rs.5000 to me. One week later, you did not even accept that when I tried to pay back Rs.5000.

On that day during the last week of May, 1998, I decided to make people cry; and shed tears uncontrollably. Coz it was the case with me. I realized how a helping hand without expecting anything in return; could influence someone flowing with so much of adrenaline energy. I do not know, how many I have influenced the way you did. But I assure you that I will be serious about spreading the spark that you gave me.

While walking casually near Lourdes Convent, I told you my plan of taking up a Basic Computer course at our parish, during the summer vacation in 1999. You immediately took your wallet out and forced me to accept Rs.1000 – the course fee. I rebelled that I just wanted to share the plan for my summer vacation and that I would manage to pay the fee through some job, back there in 1999. You persisted and wanted me to accept that cash. I remember you saying that I could use any extra cash that I generate to get some good dresses. 

I paid that Rs.1000/- and completed the course topnotch, superseding all others. Rev.Fr. John Alex PhD., SDB; allowed to continue the course and complete my PGDCA one year before I could join my MCA Programme.

I think that extra-edge is still felt in all my IT –related assignments. In a way, I owe much to you.

Thank you Anna.

I must also profusely thank the following in clergy, who have played a deeper role in molding my personality

1.       Most.Rev.Dr. Soundararaju Periyanayagam, SDB – Bishop of Vellore

2.      Rev. Fr. Dr. John Alex, PhD SDB (Formerly Faculty – LIBA)

3.      Rev. Fr. John Dharman, SDB

4.      Rev. Fr. Arockiaraj, SDB

5.      Rev. Fr. Amalamanickam, SDB

6.      Rev.Fr. L.X Jerome, SJ (Former Rector, Vice Principal, Dean of Sciences at Loyola College)

7.      Rev.Fr. Peter Xavier, SJ (Former Secretary, Vice Principal, HOD of Commerce Dept. at Loyola College)

8.      Rev.Fr. Dr. Joseph Xavier, SJ (Former Principal of Loyola College)

9.      Rev.Fr. Lourdu Samy SDB ( He has been my friend since Grade 1, making me grow in multiple avenues)

10. Rev. Sr. Veronica (Former Principal of St. Anne’s Girls Higher Sec. School, Vellore)

11.    Rev.Sr. Das Navis Princy

The following eminent persons have contributed immensely for my spiritual, moral, social and intellectual formation

12.   Mrs. Nesamani (my Parish’s Former Catechism Coordinator and a Teacher in Don Bosco School)

13.   Mr. Ashiq Ahmed ( Formerly Director with an MNC IT Resourcing Company – Currently Senior Manager / Practice Head of Strategic Alliances and IT Resourcing with a CMMi Level 4 MNC. Being like my elder brother, he taught me so many things and gave me the freedom to even get into arguments with him)

14.   Mrs. Francina (my Grade 1, teacher who still takes pride in whom I have become. Next to my mother, I saw her as my own mother right from age 6. She would show her warmth by hugging me, and kissing me on my forehead, blessing me even in my late 20s).

15.   Mr. Antonius (my Sunday Catechism teacher and Grade 8 Class teacher at Don Bosco School. He loved me so much and would visit me at home after getting discharged, when I was hospitalized twice during my Grade 8 academic year)

16.   Mr. Shelladurai (Formerly Head – Training Division with Cognizant Tech Solutions; my beloved HOD, when I was hooked up to my MCA Course at Loyola)

17.   Mr. Benette (Founder of one of Tamilnadu’s leading Package Travel and Tour Operators)

18.   Mr. Britto (Managing Partner of one of Tamilnadu’s leading Package Travel and Tour Operators)

19.   Mr. Ravi Venugopal (Senior Oracle Consultant, Founder  of several IT companies in Michigan, USA / Entrepreneur, Contributor to several social causes)

20.  Mr. T.Gaur (Formerly VP at AOL, and Program Manager at Microsoft, Angel Investor, Technology Enthusiast, Founder of state-of-the-art, Next-gen IT Companies)

21.   Mr. M.Kumar (Founder / Managing Director of a privately held IT Company in Chennai)

22.  Mr. Cassian (Marketing Manager of a reputed Package Tour operator. My thickest friend for more than 20 years. Both of us, used to take the other for granted. Now decades have passed. We end up asking each other’s permission to talk even for few minutes.)

23.  Mr. Ramesh Sekar (my learned friend during the past two years. Learnt immensely from him .Very gentle. Ask him anything he knows, he will readily share. I really get inspiration from him to be a good teacher sharing all my knowledge without expecting anything in return.)

24.  Mr. Solomon Rajkumar (my humble friend, during the past two years. Disagreed with him on several occasions with arguments. But learnt a lot from him, how he treats others with respect. Approach him for any doable help. One big smile. By the time he finishes smiling, he must have completed your request. Learnt tonnes from him, especially about nurturing our loved ones.)

25.  To all my students / trainees / Clients; regardless of the nature of the acquaintances I have had with you in the past; you all had fueled my growth.

26.  Most important aspect of my thanks-giving.

Thanks a Zillion to those who were / are around me and have attempted to break me into pieces. Oh well, you could only do things that have blocked my growth temporarily and broke my tears down. You (guys) have no idea of what my trainings have been and what I am of internally.

The trainings…..starting from someone, whom I know to be one among very few to stay agile, focused, strengthened no matter how many steroids docs prescribed him and how many years he had to consume such pills, even when he was almost 70 years old. Man of strategies and he would get a Peregrine Falcon’s view on anything. He was my first trainer. Still he is the best trainer I have had and would never have anyone like him. He is none other than my own Father.

(As a coincidence Mr. George Williams, an HR Manger previously with RWS Inc., Chennai, had to give me that adjective that I am a “man of strategies” on seeing me sweep through different levels of Interviews spanning 3 hours in a row; for a Managerial position and completing a puzzle / game  (to determine the candidate’s attitude,  mental agility, ability to work under high pressure, problem solving approach, staying focused even when there would not be even 1% hope to solve the problem at hand) in just 30 mins, which other candidates could not solve even after trying it for 180 mins. On seeing me complete the game in 30 mins, Mr. Williams accepted that he himself could not crack the game even after trying for long hours for 3 full days and that he expected me to complete it just in 10 mins as he was witnessing my own way to zero-in the answers for Aptitude Questions. He wondered why someone of my stature took more than 10 mins to crack the puzzle / game. I remember telling him that I could have done that in 10 mins had I not slept in-between playing the game due to sleep and food deprivation for 48 hours preceding that interview)

Trainings from my Guru who helped me flex my spiritual and psychological muscles so well that I could just get to wherever I want to go and what I whatever to get, by outperforming my competition even without proving much about me, and with just few words in a casual conversation where deliberations might be required. 

(Mr. Ranjith Jose, my immediate senior in NCC - Navy, All India Best Cadet Award Winner - of BA Sociology 1997-2000 Batch from Loyola College; concluded saying that I am someone who could make people feel inferior by just talking to them and eventually psychologically make them feel weak to steal the show. It was in the year 1999 during my NCC life when I literally played solo in life. Today if someone visits my home, they might end-up asking whether I have bought stock for a mini- showroom for footwear. But back in 1999, I could not even afford few bucks for Boot Polish. The effect of playing solo in life was such.  My life was as much difficult as an orphan with abundant talents would find it to be. With just those talents, I started to build on my life).

So…. I am not dead and gone and that I am not someone who would just give up things when I could not do things. I give up things when I am done with them. 

Thanks to you all too guys for making me lose my initial financial riches, high-ranking positions, recognition.  I remember how Job (from Old Testament) lost all for Almighty’s  glory and he had been bountifully blessed once Satan could not win Job over. Job’s trust in the Lord Almighty was undeterred regardless of what were taken away from him and regardless of who abandoned him.

I am back into the game after almost 9 years, by just not banking on what my strengths are but just by trusting God and surrendering myself absolutely to His Plans and doing everything for His Greater Glory….

Will blog again as to what the game that I am back into, has been….